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The lowdown: You don’t hear about the Secret Service getting in trouble with the local ladies in Bolivia, do you? What she thinks about you: While in America it might be seen as “coming on too strong”, in Colombia it's just viewed as the equivalent of “waving hello from a car window”.

Which probably explains why American dudes are typically seen as cold and unromantic.

But not like the rich, old ones who keep touring until they're 90.

More like the one-hit wonders who aren't really that good and are bankrupt by 25. What to expect: Remember how loosely you threw around the word "love" when trying to hook up with girls at frat house parties?

The dirty: That sex talk your dad awkwardly tried to have with you when you were 11 would've been way less awkward in China. Which explains how China ended up with over a billion people.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and conventional wisdom both suggest that love is a fundamental human need. A survey conducted in 2013 found that 77% of people considered it “very important” to have their smartphones with them at all times.

Which is how we managed to avoid awful '80s punchlines like “In Soviet Russia, condom wears you! A lesser-known export: Its women -- who will expect you to be the electrician, plumber, cook, servant, and a man of the house that doesn’t drink too much. What she thinks about you: American men are seen as more faithful than our Dominican counterparts, and even though the women are culturally encouraged to marry within the DR, many will tire of their first husband’s tom-cattery and seek more-monogamous, Visa-bearing pastures.

What to expect: Since many Dominicanas are, as Shakira put it, “loco con my tiguere” (meaning they trust you about as far as Pat Burrell could throw you), don’t be surprised if that email from a female coworker saying “I want you to CC me” ends up getting you a melon baller to the head.

The dirty: Dominican women are as liberated as men when it comes to sex in monogamous relationships, so make sure you can get the job done, slugger.

Obviously some don't and just really like your Americanly overweight physique.

So basically, do some homework before applying for that fiancé visa.




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