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We were (and still are) introverts with poor communication skills and anxiety/depression/mental-health issues.

I won't say it's been fairy-tale perfect—the kind of perfect that makes you barf and roll your eyes—but it's been pretty damn close.

Better Erotic Ties Totally Enhanced Relationship Last week, I responded to IMDONE, a woman who married a man despite the sex being "infrequent and impersonal" during their courtship.

If I had a partner who was unwilling to talk about sex or try to fix it, I'd kick his ass to the curb without blinking.

So with the help of counseling, I got him on board with dirty talk during sex (because it's important for me) and I worked (and still work) on telling him what to do when we bone.

I was a very experienced woman (five years as a swinger and partners numbering in the high double digits) when I first met the man who would become my husband. We also had an amazing friendship, and we were never as happy apart as we were together. We went from once a month to a couple times a week. It's not as frequent as it once was, but it's really good when we have it. Am I the first or the hundredth person to write in? I suspect you don't see it in your inbox very often because this isn't what most people would consider a problem and we don't want to waste your time!

It helped that we shared some kinks and were both up for what we agreed would be a nice and mostly companionate marriage. Turns out he needed that emotional attachment to feel safe and secure enough to open up and relax and enjoy himself. All it took for the sex to get better was practice and paying attention to cues and solving problems.




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