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So many articles out there that I’ve read recommend “visualizing your soulmate” so as to “attract them” into your life. Your soulmate often isn’t someone you consciously desire, but someone you unconsciously attract and need for inner growth.This is another highly harmful myth that creates a lot of unnecessary pain.

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To those of us who have experienced severe emotional and mental wounding in our lives, soulmates appear as a kind of holy mecca or “promised land.” When we feel incomplete, lonely and disconnected from ourselves, the ideal of soulmate love becomes a beacon of hope promising to save us.Being a romantic soul myself, I always thought that my soulmate would be a tall, mysterious, rebellious, Australian bloke.Perhaps I was simply projecting my own disowned anima (masculine energy) outwards?Soon we start sincerely believing that our beloved will “complete us,” and thus make our lives meaningful again.Deep down many of us believe that there is at least one person out there who will fulfill all of our needs and desires.As this is not limited to real life however, many fictional shy people and those with few or no friends look for the same fulfillment as the reader, leading to two variants of this trope: Type A While "doing something really cool" is the focus of most fantasies, they also tend to focus on the friendships the characters have.These fantasies often provide "idealized" friends that the audience presumably doesnt have.Here’s a wake up call: you have no power over when, where or how your soulmate will appear.All you can realistically do is be open and receptive to meeting your soulmate.The reasons for their loneliness may vary but in the end a character who really wants friends may either try to go about it in the wrong way, make friends with the wrong people, or secretly angst about it behind a different facade.If they end up successful more often than not these fictional characters will turn out to have been sociable all along, especially for Shrinking Violets, Hollywood Nerds, Cool Losers etc.See also Wish Fulfillment, I Just Want to Be Loved, I Just Want to Be Beautiful, The Four Loves, I Just Want to Be Normal, I Just Want to Be Special, Friendless Background, You Are Not Alone, Et Tu, Brute? When we were young we listened to jovial stories about princes and princesses falling in love and getting married.Type B Sometimes fictional characters do not so easily get friends handed to them with the plot.They are lonely from the start and desperately looking to make and keep friends.

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