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It took a lot of time and convincing for my parents to accept him, even though it didn’t work out in the end.In Indian culture, it’s not just the person you marry that matters; it’s also the family they come from.I grew up practicing self-defense and playing competitive sports, but I also cooked and cleaned and sang and danced in musicals.I hope I present myself as a well-rounded individual, but without feedback on dating apps, it’s hard to judge.My mother’s past spills over into her expectations with what she hopes to see in my partner. She says, “Kevin, you need to find someone who is going to take care of you.” But I struggle with this, because the biggest thing I’ve learned from my mother is to always hold my own, no matter what. Like my mother, I am resilient and I am a go-getter.I don’t place financial status at the forefront when searching for partners, and neither should my mother, because she did everything right in raising me to be the independent person that I am. At the time, I was working and living in New York City. I appreciated the experiences we shared, but looking back, I think I let my insecurities get in the way of fully living in the moment of our relationship.Asian women have to deal with race-related dating frustrations, too, including rampant fetishization on and offline. They look back at it and laugh now, but my mother recalls having to share one bowl of rice for dinner with all her siblings.

Even before I came out to her, I had a black boyfriend. It’s interesting to see the amount of inherent racism that is evident in Asian cultures.

I know my parents want the person I’m in a relationship with to come from a good family that has good values.

Well, I’m on a dating app, and I’d say 80 percent of the profiles I come across belong to FOBS.

Not only do I not wish to date within my own race, I prefer to date my own gender.

This has caused a great rift between her and I, and only now has the subject been periodically breached, as I’m very open about my sexuality and my current partners.




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