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I sit down and across from me, empty space, on either side of me, joy -- bouncing legs, crumbs and buttery hands yearning to tell me about their days and I listen, but there is something missing: a partner.

Someone who's there to listen, contribute to the conversation, and asks the questions I forget to ask, who catches the conversation like the catcher in a game, and throws the ball back to me, As mothers, we feel forgotten a lot.

I missed out on the 10 years of dating and hard knock life lessons of an un-committed Gen X'er.

I had no clue how to behave or what to expect from another mate, not to mention the men I was connecting with had no experience with a woman with children, posing another layer of complications.

Taking it slow and playing a smooth game is not her M. Remember, she spent every night for years with the same person.

She is a fish out of water and she will act like it. Make light of her ineptness and remember she's on a learning curve -- it won't be like this forever.

Single moms don't have the same free will as other single women.We listen and listen, but who is there to listen to us?It is a simple action -- to be silent and give attention to object of your affection. Some of us haven't had meaningful or passionate sex in years.It will mean more to her than any words could ever express. I've heard it over and over again from my friends and other women in the same boat -- we need and want sex, lots of it; not with lots of people, with someone who we love and trust.After the day is over and she's tended to everyone else's needs, she will want to express her sensual side and be passionate.When you don't have anyone to answer to, come home to, or care for, your schedule belongs to you. A woman with children can't, nor could she even if she wanted to be. Daily life is planned out because children need consistency and boundaries, and she needs to maintain her sanity.There is meal time, bed time, a routine, a school schedule, a homework schedule, dentist appointments, doctor appointments, dance class, time with mom and time with dad.They share the same feelings (as I did and do) of excitement, trepidation, anxiety, confusion and fear over their newborn single status.I've made up for all of the years of inexperience in the dating pool, earning a rap sheet full of mistakes and heartbreaks.It is important for her to feed her needs, even if they are primal.Emojis have nothing on the emotional forecast of a woman who has weathered a divorce.My advice is to be sensitive to her single/dating immaturity.She's only known the security of married life -- all in and completely devoted.One of the most important actions a man can take when dating or building a relationship with a woman with this cargo ship of obligation is to be respectful of her time and her life.The last thing she needs is to be concerned or preoccupied with is when she will hear from you, her significant other. Call her regularly, even if it's just to tell her you are thinking about her. When you acknowledge her circumstance, it shows her you care.




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